Music that uplifts….

Those who know me well know that music is a big part of my life, I still own the iPod classic and have close to 7000 songs on it. You can say its the main reason I like going to the gym, not to gain muscle tone or lose weight but to listen to a whole album with no interruption. Putting on headphones or even turning up the volume in my car is almost spiritual. I was trying to think of something to blog about today and this prompt came up, 5 songs you last listened to. I decided to go one step further and pick 5 songs that uplift me, my mood and my singing game (more on that in another post) Here we go….

Can’t Give Up Now- Mary Mary

The overriding theme of this song is of a spiritual nature with lyrics like “I don’t believe he’s brought me this far to leave me” with vocals that if sang live could shake the venue its performed in. It’s gospel music that tells you to never give up and I listen to it during strength training.

Won’t Back Down Eminem feat Pink

A fist pumping anthem that I take as an underdog song with ferocious lyrics by one of the greatest rappers that has ever done it and a chorus sung by my favorite female singer. “You can sound the alarm, you can hold all the cards, you can fence in the yard but I wont back down. Oh no” How can you not get pumped with those lyrics in your ear?

Roar- Katy Perry

A pure and delectable piece of sonic pop candy this song immediately grabbed me with its catchy-ness. I almost did 90 minutes of cardio listening so it deserves special mention. The chorus is played in locker rooms across the US I hear and for good reason what better way to get pumped to win any sports game.

Born This Way Lady GaGa

Another sonic piece of pop candy that is one of the best LGBT anthems of my generation. We are all born a little different and this song celebrates it in a bold way that’s incredibly catchy. My own coming out process benefited heavily from listening to this track basically telling me I’m gonna be alright cause God makes no mistakes. I say Amen to that.

Rise Up- Andra Day

Talk about a track that sneaks up on you. I rarely listen to the radio so I’m normally late on new songs but this was playing at the movie theater of all places. She is a new artist and incredibly talented who writes her own lyrics. The song basically is telling you to get up and seize the day, no matter what and I believe it came right on time in my life.

This is just the tip of the iceberg as far as music goes there are hundreds more I can add but I don’t wanna hold you hostage 😉 So what songs uplift you? When you put on music to get through the day who or what kind captures your soul? Until next time I’ll just be over here with my headphones ….

CaesarMarques

Person To Person

Photo Courtesy of http://gulfofmexicooilspillblog.com/2011/02/26/gulf-of-mexico-oil-spill-blog-global-balance-of-people-power/ — Photo Courtesy of http://gulfofmexicooilspillblog.com

Best Things In Life Are Free

I’ve had associates, had some friends but what did that get me in the end? Judgements all around about how I get down. Found out it didn’t matter, all that was chit chatter. Whats going on inside I had to find out to make sure my mind was right and to eliminate all doubt.

Because Of You

The world doesn’t seem so cold. The fucks I gave went away. Freedom was living how I wanna live, giving my authentic self out to the world. Take it or leave it was the theme song, I’m kinda glad I lasted this long. Tests all around, snakes in the grass but I had angels on my shoulders making sure I passed.

Superpower

Is the way you dress, to the way you wear your hair. It’s the bass in your voice to the confidence in your walk. It’s in the words you say, the way you kiss. It’s in the causes you believe in, to the places you spend your money. We carry it in our eyes, the fibers of our mind. A damn shame some use it to be unkind.

Rise Up

To the wonders of the world. The different colors of the people. The spectrum of sexuality that makes us all more alike than different. Let the big book pull us together and not tear us apart. let your smile lead to my smile and soon the whole world will smile. Bond in the fight to celebrate our humanness, because lets face it its the one thing we all possess.

Thank you for helping me through, you know who you are.

Storytelling…..

Photo Courtesy of institute-of-progressive-education-and-learning.org

I have a ritual that I try to stick to every weekend. I try to catch a movie in the theatre. It doesn’t matter if it’s with someone or alone I find it to be a wondrous escape for a couple of hours. Today I saw Ant-Man and while watching the previews I was wondering where are the stories I would like to see? Movies that are coming out in the coming months feature tales of bravery, mobster tales and one of the suavest agents known to man James Bond. When I say stories I’d like to see I mean “BRING THE GAY”! Movies that have a LGBT lead character are few and far between and they are normally in Drama. How about an action movie where the lead is bi-sexual or even gay. Would you see it?

I know there are male executives who’d love to do this type of movie with a female in the lead because it’s okay and appealing for some woman to woman action. I’d personally like to see an action movie where the male lead is gay or bi, does it have to be pornographic, no but I’d like to see myself represented on screen. It’s part of the world people and the mosaic that is movies should reflect all different types of reality.

I have so many ideas that I want to take and expand on, maybe this is my call to action. It has to start somewhere. There is a movie called Legend that stars Tom Hardy as twin mobsters in London, and guess what one of the mobsters is bi. It’s also based on a true story and comes out this fall. I’ll be there on opening weekend.

CaesarMarques

Oh and here’s something about life….#essay

To Whom It May Concern,

Don’t shrink or limit yourself to fit anyones mold of how THEY think you should be. Growing up I tried to adjust to whatever the situation called for. That being said it was act straight among straight people and act queer among queer folk.

WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO LIVE!!!

I like what I like and that’s that, I can’t pretend anymore. Find friends who are accepting of ALL of you and not just parts of you. Energy along with time is precious and shouldn’t be wasted.There are folks who will love the true you and life will be all the better for it. I found that out this weekend.

Love Yourself, Love Others

CaesarMarques

Express Yourself….

It’s not me, sorry its fashion photography. A way to express what you feel inside or not. Selling clothes and or dreams, baubles and diamonds. I’ve always been interested in becoming something else. Through modeling, acting and just plain pretend my expression game was strong. Salt-n-Pepa rapped a song, Madonna wrote a smash hit on the subject, im gonna let it out.

Years passed, being noticed became the focus. My ideas lost on the surface trying the new clothes, the new objects to become cool. I lost myself because we all know that we wanna be adored for who we are and sometimes for who we are not. My sexuality became wrapped up in it liking girls, liking boys liking nothing at all. I had to decide, go broke being what others wanna see or go broke doing me.

Tattoos with sayings came into view, colorful clothes bathed my big body. I didn’t care the situation was mine to control. Live by my rules or die. Friends be damned the right ones would come to appreciate a dude who lives by his own code, lives to love and slowly growing to love to live.

Admiring his tattooed body, admiring her strong cheek bones and kick ass nature became the norm. I wanna be like them or what the picture shows. Rebel not caring either way. lose friends gain friends lose love gain love it’s all a game.The problem is I’m ready to play, with my heart with my soul find the golden rules change them all, in the name of expressing myself.

I’m not getting any younger the world is becoming more accepting of me.I shouldnt care but sometimes I do. Wrapped up in Facebook likes and retweets it gets addicting, the need for approval. I/it has to stop. My need to stand out is strong. I’m becoming more and more myself everyday and the people who love me for it are who im gonna stick by. expression through music, movies, acting, fashion are what im about.

Join in. Lets start a revolution!

CaesarMarques

When you feel some kinda way…

Saw myself on-screen horrified at the sight

When will this darkness that overtakes me come into the light.

Theres a lot of well wishes but what will that get me.

Drink You Away

I can’t, one addiction I’ve never succumbed to

How easy that alcohol would be the place I would run to

My taste buds don’t favor.

Therapy

Did wonders but ended years later, the talking helped

getting the grit and grime off my mind. I walked away free

or so I thought.

Heart to Yours

Wearing my heart on my sleeve takes a toll especially when I here

other sad stories unfold. I don’t want to be a burden so I prefer a journal

where I can pour my heart out without judgement.

Beautiful

Linda Perry wrote a song, words can’t bring me down but what if they’re

your own? You try to rise above stay on higher ground and look for love of yourself

which is somewhere underground.

That’s What Friends Are For

Wonderful, talented, encouraging but are they telling me the truth or telling me what

they think I wanna hear? Words can become flowers or weapons but only you decide

which, another thing to consider on this journey.

In My Feelings

It happens sometimes, I know guys aren’t supposed to show feeling and emotion but I’m not that dude. Giving a fuck is becoming a thing of the past oh how can I get that feeling to last. Doing me best the way I know how and trying to make it work.

CaesarMarques

Who Wants to Marry Me?

*From a conversation with my mom* ” I bought new bowls because I don’t know what your dad does with the other ones, he takes them out and I never see them again. I just don’t get it, boy I tell ya.” My reply “he’s been like that for 30 years you should know by now. This is what you signed up for when you married this man” Her reply “If you don’t shut up about what I signed up for”.

I’ve been waiting a couple of days to write about this topic because I wanted to get my thoughts together because I tend to ramble on and on. On Friday June 26,2015 the Supreme Court voted that same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states!!! I am a same gender loving fella so this benefits me someday. However I was surprised by overwhelming emotions upon hearing this news. Tears filled my eyes when the e-mail came through for the many couples who want this and now have the chance to be recognized. I never saw myself as getting married partly because of my low self- esteem among other things (hey I’m honest).

Do I think society will crumble because of this news? No the world will go on just as it was before only difference is that instead of having commitment ceremonies there will be weddings for same-sex couples. I made the mistake of going on Facebook that same day and my heart was punched repeatedly by reading some nasty, hateful comments made by “Christians”.I believe there is a god, I believe he preaches love among ALL people. I have never read the bible cover to cover (not enough suspense, sex, drugs and all that stuff that makes a book go bestseller) but there are some that have and will tell you how to live your life according to this book.

“Only that which is directly written by God’s Hand can be said to be free of errors and to be absolutely true in every way. All the other works are prone to all the errors that human beings are prone: poor memory and forgetfulness, lack of understanding and so on and so forth. This is not to say that these works are not of value; on the contrary they are of great value but with the caveat that sometimes the works were written down decades after the passing away of the original truth-bringer, as for example, the teaching of Jesus.Only Divinity is Perfect and as such a Work or Writing that proceeds from Divinity’s Hand would be perfect and all-embracing, devoid of any form of errors. Therefore no religious teaching of today can claim the absolute right to an unadulterated Message from God since none of the teachings have been written by God’s Hand Himself but only through His Messengers who as described above were human beings and as such prone to all the errors that we human beings are prone.”

–In The Light Of Truth: The Grail Message by Abd-ru-shin. The Stiftung Gralsbotschaft Publishing Company, Stuttgart, Germany 1990

We are all entitled to believe what we want to believe and feel how we want to feel. That being said I am fully ready to embrace how I feel and not put up with negative energies of those whose love is conditional. To the single christian brothers and sisters, have you ever thought that the reason you are still looking for the Mr and Mrs in your life is because you spend so much energy trying to put down someone else marrying their Mr and Mrs? What we put out comes back to us I believe, so all that hatred could be blocking your blessings.

Lets be honest there’s racism all around us that hasn’t went away, there seems to be a total disregard for life when someone can go into a block party and shoot it up knowing there are kids there.You cant procreate if there is nobody left on the planet, right? I’m sure in time the support will come, hopefully while I’m still alive. Its a shame that its more prevalent in the African-American community being that it took us so long to get all our rights.

The lesson I’ve learned is that you need thick skin to live in this society and be yourself. To live your truth whatever it may be. The joker in me wants to go to some baptist churches and pass out wedding planning services for same-sex couples. I’m gonna continue to keep praying that the world starts coming together and not get divided. We are stronger together than apart.

Going back to the conversation with my mom, that is what you sign up for the good and the bad. Gay couples will be no different from straight couples, we’re gonna fight, we’re gonna get divorced. It’s life and it changes, get on the bandwagon or get left behind.So on a lighter note, I’m thinking night-time at a beach candles lit nice breeze for a wedding. I can cook, keep a clean house, good credit. Who wants to marry me?

CaesarMarques

I Miss Him…. A Poem

There were times when the world seemed so open, problems didn’t hit me as hard

When coloring was the shit and getting a 64 count crayon box meant you were blessed

From deciding what Matchbox cars to play with, what Lego fixtures I could build

I Miss Him

The couple of dollars I could make from raking the grass, the jumping on any couch or bed

to almost breaking down when I didn’t get what I want. My oh my time goes by fast

When hearing the Ice Cream truck brought so much joy and a sweet tooth to match

I Miss Him

Growing older, I really understood what the world thought of me and not having the tools

to not give a damn, I gave in. Walls went up, heart in a lockbox gasping for air

Thinking if I was “normal” things would be ok

I Wanna Hug Him

Knowing that what I believe matters above all else, tides have changed the water is less choppy

the greatest love of all was so easy to achieve, right under my nose, the smell of freedom

the clouds are blue again.

I Am Him

CaesarMarques

Me #POETRY

I knew he existed just had to find him somewhere

all the times that life kept him under wraps

It was a pleasure to know he had my back

Confident, Courageous, Cocky he can appear to be

as I dug deep in the spirit of all that is me.

He comes to play at different times, he’s picky about

the energy he shares, at some points you can look at him

and it may seem that there are no cares. Hiding is crucial

because of what society deems the right thing to be, say or act

As a matter of fact the light that shines so bright can be dimmed by certain

words of no fault of his own just a insecurity overgrown

Its getting easier as the years go by, love of self is a virtue that comes to

play almost every day. Watching, waiting, hoping, praying that it never goes away

the intense desire to be, feel and radiate true unconditional love. When it goes to the universe

and boomerangs back you never think of the lack

lack of money, lack of significant other, lack of friendships, lack of honesty

With yourself and others because of the fear that comes with it. It’s never enough

It will never be enough but you are enough some people look at you and see

all that you don’t the goodness, the funny, the sexy, the all around mushy gorgeous

Something will catch you and point it all out and you will not be able to deny it

and why should you?

CaesarMarques

My Shield…..#poetry

I had to draw you in with a story to tell

about a man some people pretend to know so well.

I’ve struggled with weight for a bulk of my life eating burgers and shakes

I never thought twice. Entering my mid 30’s this year shined a light

so bright that I had to face my truth. It can construed as a guard between me and the

world, a buffer to keep people away because society says big is bad

Thinking like that can keep you from the life you were meant to have

In my life it has kept me out of fights, out of love, out of physical entrapments

that could open my eyes to what the world really is and could be. Its sad I know

you don’t realize how much you can grow from learning that there’s a place for everyone

and feeling sorry for yourself can be a turn off. Burn off the stinky recesses of the past

so that your future can be a blast. newfound appreciation was found when I looked in the mirror

and saw my invisible crown, sword ,scepter and shield took it off and what was revealed?

Me in my glory only as happy as I chose to be its only up to me to have the life that’s meant to be

Opening my heart will be one of the greatest battles of my life I’m gonna need all the support that

the universe will give. In the end it’s gonna be all good no pressure no cooker all love.

The shield comes off, is this when truly enjoying your life begins?

CaesarMarques

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: