Category: creative non-fiction

fantasmic feeling

heard your voice first

had to see your face

never know if you r

down with the alphabet crew.

God, pretty please

©MarcusCaesar

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I’m a keep going….


There’s a lyric in one of my favorite songs that states “I believe in miracles because it’s a miracle I’m here”. It resonates with me because of its profound truth to my life. Breathe 

I thank you Universe for instilling in me a resilience that can only be supernatural. I think long and hard too much honestly about what the world would be without me in it. Breathe

I’ve been inside literally and figuratively because I didn’t think I had much to offer, this person was more talented or this dude’s body looked better. It’s not a “girly” thing. It’s a human thing. Breathe 

As I near 40 years on this earth and I am now putting myself out there showing that I’m  a presence that won’t be denied, I’m figuring out that THIS is what the universe has wanted from and for me all along. I just had to get outta my own way. Breathe 

Fat, unattractive, and untalented all these things I’ve thought of myself . There is  Gratitude in feeling that the Universe has never let me get to the point of the great escape. This journey ain’t easy but I’m here.

And so I take a deep breath, soak it in. 

©MarcusCaesar

P.S the video that inspired this post is from @thechristishow, someone who is very talented and hilarious. Follow her on all social media platforms, you won’t be disappointed.

a pinch of fear, a trace of hope…

It’s all about me

The way I’ve learned to be

Take care of myself, cause no one else will 

Going ever so slowly through the fog

Legs, heart hurting from it all 

Constant moving but in place 

It’s hard to hold up my face 

Because then you’ll see the truth 

I fake it until I make it, shame there’s a

Trace would my family and friends think

Me a disgrace?

I talk and talk and talk with no much follow 

Through… gotta begin anew
This prayer I Trace on my lips from my heart

Dear God,

Hear me loud and clear 

I’ve walked through life with life altering fear

Trust faltered; willpower diminished 

We talk a lot, my mind cloudy, mouth hot

I ask please forget me not

Things I wanna do but scared of failure 

I ask for your guidance for the big step 

I want to take 

Be near me, talk with me 

Help me understand that you help those whom

Help themselves that’s how you lend

A helping hand. Amen 

©MarcusCaesar

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Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent

Survival of the fittest in the world today 

It’s all in me, can I let it out? 

Downplayed, afraid of what others may say

How can he Radiate such, such beauty, 

Such grace. I mean he only takes pictures of his

Face; body isn’t perfect but folks feel he’s 

Conceited because he doesn’t talk to

Everyone; Arrogant because he knows what he 

Wants; speaks his mind didn’t stutter one time

Truly feeling he’s one of a kind

Took some time for him to find

The jewel that lies inside 

Buried under hurt, dirt, seaweed, broken glass 

Honey, insecurity and neglect.

Gentle in speech, large in spirit 

I’m on my way…to be continued 

©MarcusCaesar

Lamenting on truest of lives…

I did plan it

I had no Qualm; about going through with it

The date was set

I need to get things in order 

Fire up the tape recorder 

Let everyone know I love them 

It’s about me, wasn’t about you

Get outta my head

Build a new life 

Try new things, maybe go clean 

What am I trying to accomplish?

What am I trying to escape?

Sometimes I feel like it’s too late 

But it’s not, it’s ego talking 

Universe help me out

I wanna get these feelings out

Stuck, lost, off track, astray

Moving, found, clear, focused 

It’s what I’m after…..

©Marcus Caesar 

Come One, Come All

Here ye.    Here ye.

Everyone is welcome 

Come into my home 

Tell me your stories

Life experiences and such

Welcome aboard 

My train, no judge or jury

No hurry to confirm 

To the harshness of society 

Bring your gifts, share your talents 

Let’s all learn together 

Color blind in my eyes

We all have the same insides 

My place  so kiss your girl, kiss your dude

Kiss both on different days, respect 

Hold hands in harmony, peace

Be with us, Hospitality to 1000th degree

Come stay with me

Take me to your land so I can learn all I can

A great time had by all

I promise one and all

Universe my mind and heart is open…..

©Marcus Caesar

scared, so you write through it….

Dreams are real, vivid productions, high quality writing. Making them come true could be the hard part, afraid to share your art never knowing if you could brighten someone’s day or save a life. 

Stuck in the same place , to everything and everyone you know. The encouragement is there from your peers and everywhere but you can’t find it inside yourself, it’s like your deaf to your own praise.

Prayers and meditation that’s what they say, invest in your life, things work out great that way. I’ve been diligent in this practice all along but it’s not enough to make me strong. Strong enough to make that move, Pursue my dreams.

Life is always changing, I’m still holding on. I’ll have to do it and adjust later. I may fail which makes me shudder with fear, but what else do I do dear? Cry about it, sulk about it, whine about it. Will that make things better? I doubt it.

It’s tiring. 

©MarcusCaesar

Have you ever? 

…wanted so bad to live life on your own terms but so busy comparing that you forgot what your terms were?

…started being attracted to the same sex at a early age but deathly afraid of people finding out so you go into a shell?

…love to sleep because your dream life is one of the happiest places you can go?

…put words in people’s mouths, automatically give them a story as to why they wouldn’t like you without actually knowing that person?

…as a teenager neglect cleanliness about yourself so that it would put up a wall as to keep people out?

…went years without sex because you find your body disgusting?

…go out of your way to make people smile and laugh so that the universe will send people to do the same for you?

…decided that the “fuck it all” attitude is the way to be from here on out, when the world seems way too complicated and you’re sensitive to the energies of that world for better or worse 


…to be continued 



©MarcusCaesar

…gif courtesy of GIPHY.com

What Now…#PepTalk for the New Year 

This is me. My name is Marcus.

I want to be a better person this year because I think I’d benefit from it and it may make the world a better place (you just never know). Some thoughts that have penetrated my mind, some seen on social media and some that were randomly brought to my consciousness by sounds, feelings and the universe

  1. Comparison is a form of self-violence 
  2. Adventure makes your heart smile 
  3. Love yourself as much as you love your favorite musicians, actors and actresses 
  4. You may have to go into debt to do the things your soul is calling you to do
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help 
  6. People are in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime. The universe will determine which
  7. People don’t care about you and what you do as much as you think 
  8. Kiss more
  9. Explore Fashion 
  10. Though they may work your nerves, cherish every day your parents being on this earth 

I hope this serves whom ever reads this and I’d like to know what you would add. Let’s make this list longer….. until the next post ✌🏽

Lightworker in training, 

Marcus Caesar/CaesarMarques