9 to 5 blues 

My face at work most days.

I know I know 

Should have dropped this long ago

Why am I still here….

The people in the world man

So nasty, so rude, so entitled 

Was it a mistake going into Customer Service ?

I try to be love and light

Try to fight the good fight but

I’m tested on a daily basis 

I’m Relieved that I’m staying on my path

Many a people try to steer me away

I’m off work till the next day

Quit and let it all go

That’s the question I pray for guidance 

To let me know

I don’t hate it, no

Am I happy is the question 

And I’m guessing the only one who knows 

Is…………… me

©MarcusCaesar

Read to Recharge 💓

The world can be tough

Without your brain making it so

It can be sometimes hard to put yourself in go.

 Be Tender with yourself /myself/ourselves 

I wish I knew all thee answers

Always searching for something more 

I’m learning to adapt 

To love ❤️ 

To accept 

Myself as I am

Work in progress 

©MarcusCaesar

I hope to purchase my uniform…


Sitting here thinking about you…..

I want to play in the rain with your essence 

Eat pizza, while we disagree with pineapple 

On that said pizza, I relent it’s ok 

Because I’m eating with you

Riverfront walking , our fears talking

Will someone mind if we kiss? It’s been 

So long, that walk from the parking lot

To one of many favorite spots. Fuck’em 

We dress alike but people can’t see the 
Uniform we share is just smiles and happiness 

between you and me. 

©MarcusCaesar

a pinch of fear, a trace of hope…

It’s all about me

The way I’ve learned to be

Take care of myself, cause no one else will 

Going ever so slowly through the fog

Legs, heart hurting from it all 

Constant moving but in place 

It’s hard to hold up my face 

Because then you’ll see the truth 

I fake it until I make it, shame there’s a

Trace would my family and friends think

Me a disgrace?

I talk and talk and talk with no much follow 

Through… gotta begin anew
This prayer I Trace on my lips from my heart

Dear God,

Hear me loud and clear 

I’ve walked through life with life altering fear

Trust faltered; willpower diminished 

We talk a lot, my mind cloudy, mouth hot

I ask please forget me not

Things I wanna do but scared of failure 

I ask for your guidance for the big step 

I want to take 

Be near me, talk with me 

Help me understand that you help those whom

Help themselves that’s how you lend

A helping hand. Amen 

©MarcusCaesar

{Con{Fid{ence Loading…


Charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent

Survival of the fittest in the world today 

It’s all in me, can I let it out? 

Downplayed, afraid of what others may say

How can he Radiate such, such beauty, 

Such grace. I mean he only takes pictures of his

Face; body isn’t perfect but folks feel he’s 

Conceited because he doesn’t talk to

Everyone; Arrogant because he knows what he 

Wants; speaks his mind didn’t stutter one time

Truly feeling he’s one of a kind

Took some time for him to find

The jewel that lies inside 

Buried under hurt, dirt, seaweed, broken glass 

Honey, insecurity and neglect.

Gentle in speech, large in spirit 

I’m on my way…to be continued 

©MarcusCaesar

Lamenting on truest of lives…

I did plan it

I had no Qualm; about going through with it

The date was set

I need to get things in order 

Fire up the tape recorder 

Let everyone know I love them 

It’s about me, wasn’t about you

Get outta my head

Build a new life 

Try new things, maybe go clean 

What am I trying to accomplish?

What am I trying to escape?

Sometimes I feel like it’s too late 

But it’s not, it’s ego talking 

Universe help me out

I wanna get these feelings out

Stuck, lost, off track, astray

Moving, found, clear, focused 

It’s what I’m after…..

©Marcus Caesar 

Come One, Come All

Here ye.    Here ye.

Everyone is welcome 

Come into my home 

Tell me your stories

Life experiences and such

Welcome aboard 

My train, no judge or jury

No hurry to confirm 

To the harshness of society 

Bring your gifts, share your talents 

Let’s all learn together 

Color blind in my eyes

We all have the same insides 

My place  so kiss your girl, kiss your dude

Kiss both on different days, respect 

Hold hands in harmony, peace

Be with us, Hospitality to 1000th degree

Come stay with me

Take me to your land so I can learn all I can

A great time had by all

I promise one and all

Universe my mind and heart is open…..

©Marcus Caesar

scared, so you write through it….

Dreams are real, vivid productions, high quality writing. Making them come true could be the hard part, afraid to share your art never knowing if you could brighten someone’s day or save a life. 

Stuck in the same place , to everything and everyone you know. The encouragement is there from your peers and everywhere but you can’t find it inside yourself, it’s like your deaf to your own praise.

Prayers and meditation that’s what they say, invest in your life, things work out great that way. I’ve been diligent in this practice all along but it’s not enough to make me strong. Strong enough to make that move, Pursue my dreams.

Life is always changing, I’m still holding on. I’ll have to do it and adjust later. I may fail which makes me shudder with fear, but what else do I do dear? Cry about it, sulk about it, whine about it. Will that make things better? I doubt it.

It’s tiring. 

©MarcusCaesar

Tenacious and Strong (Precious Metal)

              

I want it. I need it.

My breath I can see it

The victory can taste it

The solitude I face it

Unshakable the drive

Too bad I hold it deep inside

So many roads to take

Can’t I just choose one avenue and be great?

Unwavering in my approach 

Determined in my education 

Learning as much, as fast as I can

Trying to be great, not mediocre man

Take it seriously but not so seriously 

Take it easy but don’t be easy

To be fooled into doing things that 

Take you off your path

I will succeed, thrive

I will survive, strong-willed

Practice makes perfect 

Comparison may be certain 

Tho Tenacious I deserve this 

A life I love ❤️ 

©Marcus Caesar 

Road could be long, but worth it… (Champion)

This nervousness is astounding, my heart is beating fast, sweat is forming in places that are dumb. Back of my neck, inside of my thighs, the crook of my arm. I had been nominated for 4 Academy Awards, Best Supporting Actor, Best Actor, Original Screenplay and Best Original Song. By this time of night I’d lost 3 of them and now it was time for the last category I’d compete in and one of the last of the night, Best Actor. 
This was one of the best years of my professional/ personal life. I wrote a movie for me to star in AND I got to work with 2 acting heroes of mines Meryl Streep and Steve Martin. I had become engaged to a childhood friend that summer and became a step-parent to his 2 kids Savanna and Rob Jr. I also inked a deal to write a pilot for HBO about the lives of escorts to the stars, that was getting a lot of buzz. In other words, a fucking fantastic year.
My friend Zarah was by my side at the Oscars being the support, the comedian (we played guess who gets drunk quicker) , and my edible buddy (she owns an edible bakery). I admit I wasn’t largely favored to win any of the major awards but best Original Song, I thought I had it in the bag. Top 10 hit, platinum seller but alas so was Sam Smith’s ballad that ended up winning. I found myself tearing up after not winning that one, my self esteem was slowly falling down. In my eyes this award show was my moment, my HEY WORLD IM HERE, my launch pad. One by one after each announcement of the winner I had to fake a smile, damn those cameras.
It was after the winner was announced for the screenplay award where I decided I was gonna take a year off and cry, eat, sleep. You know stay at home and play househusband. One thing about me it shows on my face when I’m upset, worried, irritated, hungry, happy etc and boy was my face twisted up that night. Commercial break comes and a tap on the shoulder jolts me, it’s Samuel L Jackson whispering in my ear “keep your head up brother, shiiiiid you’ll be up there next year. You new to the game. You can’t always win awards but you put out good work and the rewards gon be great. You’re a champion Youngblood. Believe that shit” before I could respond we were back from commercial break. 
Best Actor category up next, the sweat is on my eyebrows now, Zarah is holding my hand. There are some great actors nominated tonight Izaya Spencer (acting school buddy), Sharlto Copley, Orlando Bloom and Matt Damon. I’m rubbing my leg with my right hand, tapping my shoe and the winner is called and it’s…….Orlando Bloom 

I jump up and start clapping, seeing me do it the other nominees follow suit. Standing and clapping, my mind is cloudy, throat is dry, hands now hurting holding back the tears. I could play it off and say I’m just happy for my buddy Orlando (first nomination) but it’s a mixture of disappointment and genuine happiness for the winners. 
It was my first as well, do I count? I could see the headlines now, and I’d be in them as capital L for loser. On the way home I’m silent, Zarah is running down the coolest moments of the night, who she met, who she’d fuck, whom she wouldn’t. She gives me a hug before she walks up to her townhouse and whispers “You’re my Champion forever and always ” followed by a kiss on the cheek and then she skips to her door. The driver gets on the PCH and that’s when I lose it, tears streaming down my face. I had to let it out, the driver sensing discomfort just let me be. He put on some music and the first song that comes on is Champion by RuPaul…..45 minutes later I’m home.
Rob comes at me both arms raised and we hug, sobs coming from my mouth, nose stuffed up. He knew as soon as he saw me, I felt embarrassed, distressed and low. Letting me go, I then go into my meditation room and see a bouquet of flowers with a note attached from my spiritual mentor it read “To my friend, always remember : Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday. -Wilma Rudolph followed by Best of Luck my friend signed OPRAH WINFREY
A smile appeared on my face. It was time to regroup and so I started my meditation……

©MarcusCaesar