Facebook or Not was the question???….#ESSAY

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Two years have passed and I’m back on Facebook. I originally deactivated my account because I wanted to start a blog about my adventures in life and Facebook would take up too much of my time or that’s what I told people. The truth would be slightly different and a bit how should I say this, pathetic.

One reason we struggle with insecurity is that we’re comparing our behind the scenes to every else’s highlight reel”.- Pastor Steven Furtick

I was seeing all my “friends” have awesome adventures with their lives and i was scraping, scrimping and just doing enough to get by. No love to call my own so I LOVED the wedding announcements, hadn’t taken an actual vacation since I was a teenager so I LOVED the beach snaps. In short I was jealous and insecure about what I thought my life should be like compared to these people some who I admit I befriended just to be nosey, or if they were cute. A lil of both actually. I read the above quote numerous times in different places and thought hmm, I heard she got dumped but that wasnt on FB and I heard his band sucked donkey balls but no pics of that on FB. My allusions were shattered.

We are all human beings who face life’s up and downs, we ALL want a pat on the back or a like for a job well done or a pic nicely taken (yes you do). FB can be used to keep in touch with family far away and classmates from that 10 year reunion for better or worse. I also decided that in going back to FB that I wasnt going to be private for the sake of who might hear or see my thoughts. I didn’t want to overshare in the past, afraid that my sister or other close relatives would get upset, alert the media or worse call me and keep me on the phone for hours. It’s my reality, my page and to hell with what anybody else thinks including family.

I’ve just started getting in the acting game, taking classes and such and wisely my teacher suggested using FB as a tool for finding out about auditions. That pushed me back on FB. I havent regretted it yet and I’ve connected with some of the tribe from my acting world on there. I’m gonna keep an open mind and not stress about it. Everybody has a right to tell their story to anyone who follows them as do I. If shit doesn’t pan out I can always deactivate again.

CaesarMarques

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