…loading new life in 3.2.1

new-life-fresh-start-CPBJNM

One month ago today, my job was eliminated. It’s a prime example of be careful of what you ask for or you just might get it. My co-workers and I used to joke about getting paid to stay at home and guess what happened….

It’s a shocker for sure because i’d heard it happen and read of it happening but to see it actually happen in real time? Knocks you on your ass. There were a lot of technical issues that day, but we still didn’t think it was gonna be a Purge situation….

A month later to reflect and here’s the thing…you ready for it?  I don’t miss it, I met some great people but being cursed out on a daily basis for something I couldn’t fix was not my ideal work environment. While I wont bash the company I worked for those 2 years because hey I signed up for it and my bills were paid and it literally does me no good and it doesn’t make me feel better. That chapter of my life is done….

What’s next you want to know? World Domination *inserts* evil laugh. Honestly the world is open to me now in a way that I’d never felt before. Should I

  •  move overseas and teach English?
  •  try a new field that I’ve been interested in but scared to try (graphic design)
  • be a well paid (there’s a difference) sex-worker with clients across the globe
  • go full fledged actor+writer+creator and move to LA
  • go backpacking in Europe or Asia
  • create new content and study more while finding a job that pays well

I mean the list can go on and on and it’s all thanks to ?!*+%&=@!!!! You know who you are buddy. I’m gonna make sure that the next path I choose is not fear based. That I know for sure.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Marcus Caesar

 

 

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💖Universe have my back 💓


You want the best for everyone 

Including yourself 

I need a miracle 

I want to move to another place to 

Practice my art, fulfill my hearts desire 

Fear, finances, hold me back

I send light to receive light

This is my call to the universe 

Help me in anyway you can

Guide me

To the situations, people, places 

My heart is full of gratitude for

What’s to come

I work hard, now I have to work smart 

By the end of 2017 I plan to be settled in

Send me your positivity

Send me your magic 

Help make my dreams come true 🙏🏽

©MarcusCaesar

Snack on this (thoughts in waiting)


I enjoy eating 

Fast foods, Snackfoods, good foods, bad foods 

It’s my armor

Invisible, seen, antisocial, mean

I choose this

Hard to quit, Easy to get, goes down smooth 

It’s how I cope

Sexuality, obesity, debt, stuck

I pray about it 

Love, money, purpose, relationships

It gets better, doesn’t it?  Hope. 

©MarcusCaesar

*i don’t own the image, Image is courtesy of google images*

a pinch of fear, a trace of hope…

It’s all about me

The way I’ve learned to be

Take care of myself, cause no one else will 

Going ever so slowly through the fog

Legs, heart hurting from it all 

Constant moving but in place 

It’s hard to hold up my face 

Because then you’ll see the truth 

I fake it until I make it, shame there’s a

Trace would my family and friends think

Me a disgrace?

I talk and talk and talk with no much follow 

Through… gotta begin anew
This prayer I Trace on my lips from my heart

Dear God,

Hear me loud and clear 

I’ve walked through life with life altering fear

Trust faltered; willpower diminished 

We talk a lot, my mind cloudy, mouth hot

I ask please forget me not

Things I wanna do but scared of failure 

I ask for your guidance for the big step 

I want to take 

Be near me, talk with me 

Help me understand that you help those whom

Help themselves that’s how you lend

A helping hand. Amen 

©MarcusCaesar

A shot of light n life (elixir)

Guardian Angel hear my plea

Come rescue me

Depression has come calling 

Loud, strong, impressionable 

Feeling stuck, caged in you could say

Tell me something, make my day

Brighter, sunnier

Love letters to my heart

An elixir for my woes

Deep thinking, contemplating 

Just letting go, leaving it all behind 

Comparison is death at my age, any age

Oh sage, walk with me, talk with me

Give me the magic to mix this life

Into something I’d love, even like

Grant me the greatest gift 

Of being able to see the world in all

its glory, is it by telling stories?

One year older, hair a bit grayer 

I would like a sign for the piece of mind

To move forward knowing that life can be a 

Challenge and the storm I’m in won’t always

Be this way, oh heavens I pray 🙏🏽

Your Elixir would be most helpful whatever 

It may be, I kneel and bow to thee. 

Be the guide.

©Marcus Caesar