Looking Ahead

I’m leaving today

don’t know where

everything’s changed

I’m grown/I’ve grown now.

©️MarcusCaesar

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💖Universe have my back 💓


You want the best for everyone 

Including yourself 

I need a miracle 

I want to move to another place to 

Practice my art, fulfill my hearts desire 

Fear, finances, hold me back

I send light to receive light

This is my call to the universe 

Help me in anyway you can

Guide me

To the situations, people, places 

My heart is full of gratitude for

What’s to come

I work hard, now I have to work smart 

By the end of 2017 I plan to be settled in

Send me your positivity

Send me your magic 

Help make my dreams come true 🙏🏽

©MarcusCaesar

Lamenting on truest of lives…

I did plan it

I had no Qualm; about going through with it

The date was set

I need to get things in order 

Fire up the tape recorder 

Let everyone know I love them 

It’s about me, wasn’t about you

Get outta my head

Build a new life 

Try new things, maybe go clean 

What am I trying to accomplish?

What am I trying to escape?

Sometimes I feel like it’s too late 

But it’s not, it’s ego talking 

Universe help me out

I wanna get these feelings out

Stuck, lost, off track, astray

Moving, found, clear, focused 

It’s what I’m after…..

©Marcus Caesar 

Come One, Come All

Here ye.    Here ye.

Everyone is welcome 

Come into my home 

Tell me your stories

Life experiences and such

Welcome aboard 

My train, no judge or jury

No hurry to confirm 

To the harshness of society 

Bring your gifts, share your talents 

Let’s all learn together 

Color blind in my eyes

We all have the same insides 

My place  so kiss your girl, kiss your dude

Kiss both on different days, respect 

Hold hands in harmony, peace

Be with us, Hospitality to 1000th degree

Come stay with me

Take me to your land so I can learn all I can

A great time had by all

I promise one and all

Universe my mind and heart is open…..

©Marcus Caesar

2016 Year In Review

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Hey Everyone, I don’t believe I did this last year. I’m gonna do a synopsis of how my year has gone down with the help of gifs (love them). My goal next year is to contribute more to this space so you can get to know me better through words and photography, I think I may do a whole redesign of the blog but we shall see…….

All I Ask 

I was in a temporary job in which I didn’t love just getting by in the start of the year. I was working a shift that didn’t allow me to do any of my creative endeavors that 2015 had me interested in (acting classes, doing plays etc) my thought process was do a good job and you may become permanent. So I did, perfect attendance and stellar call quality according to my superiors I wouldnt been a model permanent employee, but because this was still considered temporary I took other interviews hoping for a full-time permanent position. I’m asking the heavens to bless me with full-time employment so I don’t default on my car loan, credit cards, student loans etc…

No

I got let go from that temporary job with the reasoning “They just don’t feel you are long-term employee material”. My question is who is? Do I want to stay making Lil money with a fucking bachelors degree? No. So I am going to better myself AND search for other opportunities while working, it only makes sense right? So they were right in retrospect, as soon as I found another opportunity I was out of there quick, fast and in a hurry. Luckily I qualified for unemployment benefits that got me through bills-wise. I already had trouble with stress and depression tied to my self-worth and this little setback didn’t do anything to help matters.

 Darkness and Light

When summer started to roll in, so did me eating my feelings and feeling down because I’m going to interviews upon interviews and still nothing. One company I interviewed with twice and they were known to hire any and everybody…….. but not me. Bitches

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Fill out online 80 page questionnaire/ application….. Phone Interview….. In-Person Interview….. “we’ve decided to go with other candidates, good luck with your job search”

My favorite part of the summer? I decided to take singing lessons to keep my creative juices flowing and I thought i was okay at it on the way to being stellar at it. It was a testament to me doing something I’ve always wanted to do and finding a way to get it done. I met some cool ladies there who were all in the same boat I was in (learning) and it was a highlight of my year.Middle of the summer I decided to check out a play that one of my acting teachers wrote and it starred a couple of peeps I had acting classes with, I happened to sit with The Lady H another acting classmate who was also there for support as well. I went through my story and she offered to go over my resume and give me tips on how to stand out in a crowded employment field. She spruced up my resume and sent me links to some openings and encouraged me to join LinkedIn. The Lady H was a blessing beyond words and I thank God i was able to get out of my own way and not turn down help because of pride and what not.

  Ultralight Beam

I wanted to share my writings with the world and so I decided that I would submit some of my poetry for publication. I learned that you really should read the publications you are submitting to, needless to say my selections didn’t get picked and a valuable lesson was learned. Score one for experience……I woke up one morning in July and while trying to rush to the bathroom for my morning whizz, my mother hit me with the news that my cousin had passed. He was only 2 years older than me, we weren’t close to be honest, that was a product of my insecurities being around straight dudes and what not, but when we did see each other it was all love. I was in the midst of taking singing lessons and he was a music producer. Who knows what could have happened if we mixed and I had opened up about this part of my life. I try not to dwell on the what could have beens. Rest In Paradise

Breathing Underwater

Hot, Humid August rolls around my unemployment benefits are at an end, resubmit my updated polished resume to all the different job search engines and I get some calls. Interviews roll through and I get 2 job offers in one day. Which do I choose? It came down to the schedules being offered and so I chose cable. I’m still there, going on the 5 month mark. Some days are longer and harder than others but that is to be expected in Customer Service. I’m still playing catch-up with getting my self-love back on track, I did connect with some cool people on social media whom I could consider friends, maybe one day I’ll share some vocal stylings on this here blog. 😉 I traveled to Toronto a place I’ve always wanted to visit and I booked a trip to Los Angeles in February 2017 , so more travel is definitely on my itinerary for this upcoming year. I learned I am resilient, confident at times, lazy, undeniably cool, charming and blessed.

So 2017 I’m ready for you……Let’s

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©Marcus-Caesar

 

*gifs courtesy of Giphy.com*

 

 

 

 

Love Affair….Part 1

I’m the first to admit, I’m a voracious reader. There was a bookstore called Borders in my hometown that was my favorite place to be on any day of the week. They also had an outlet store that you could find me in at least once a week. It was there when looking for travel guides I found Seattle. I worked with an older lady who dated a man who lived there and upon talking with him about it I decided right then and there I wanted to visit. This was in 2002. It’s odd because not many people talk about visiting the city because it’s not warm or famous like Los Angeles  and it doesn’t have amusement parks like Orlando, the rain gets a bad reputation there.

Photo courtesy of cityshowcase.co.uk
Photo courtesy of cityshowcase.co.uk

I had it in my heart and in my bones that I would visit. My lady friends’ male companion then passed away and she invited me with her to straighten out some business. I was unable to go because of school, the opportunity passed and I made it a mission to get there. Years passed, I would look at the travel manual every now and again wishing and hoping for a chance. Last year the chance came up and I traveled to Seattle for the first time by myself. Love at first drive it was, no rain on the day I arrived. Mountains, this skyline you see in the picture and it was official I wanted to move there.

The thing about Seattle is that the cost of living is high. One bedroom apartments can be as much as 1000 and up. To park there is not cheap either, I spent close to 50 bucks on parking alone while visiting. Traffic is atrocious compared to where I live now and there was construction being done on the waterfront so that was a hassle. I didn’t wanna be anywhere else though. Some people want to move to places like Atlanta, NYC, Los Angeles and Miami. I felt right at home in Seattle, its liberal kinda weird vibe fit me perfectly.

I decided in 2015 I was gonna make this place my home, so I’ve been making preparations to move there this Oct/Nov. My ultimate goal was to live in the city but if that doesn’t work out I’m happy living on the outskirts. The Love affair continues but like with most love affairs there are some hiccups.

To get a roommate or not?

To get a car or not?

To transfer through my job or find another?

The reason for the Oct/Nov window? I turn in my leased car in at the middle of Oct and my thought process was instead of getting a car here, wait till I get out west. It’s also time for a life change to be honest. I feel like I’m living but I don’t feel Alive. All positive vibes and prayers are appreciated, so I can make this move happen. Fear stay away….

To Be Continued……

CaesarMarques