Hey Everyone, I don’t believe I did this last year. I’m gonna do a synopsis of how my year has gone down with the help of gifs (love them). My goal next year is to contribute more to this space so you can get to know me better through words and photography, I think I may do a whole redesign of the blog but we shall see…….
All I Ask
I was in a temporary job in which I didn’t love just getting by in the start of the year. I was working a shift that didn’t allow me to do any of my creative endeavors that 2015 had me interested in (acting classes, doing plays etc) my thought process was do a good job and you may become permanent. So I did, perfect attendance and stellar call quality according to my superiors I wouldnt been a model permanent employee, but because this was still considered temporary I took other interviews hoping for a full-time permanent position. I’m asking the heavens to bless me with full-time employment so I don’t default on my car loan, credit cards, student loans etc…
I got let go from that temporary job with the reasoning “They just don’t feel you are long-term employee material”. My question is who is? Do I want to stay making Lil money with a fucking bachelors degree? No. So I am going to better myself AND search for other opportunities while working, it only makes sense right? So they were right in retrospect, as soon as I found another opportunity I was out of there quick, fast and in a hurry. Luckily I qualified for unemployment benefits that got me through bills-wise. I already had trouble with stress and depression tied to my self-worth and this little setback didn’t do anything to help matters.
Darkness and Light
When summer started to roll in, so did me eating my feelings and feeling down because I’m going to interviews upon interviews and still nothing. One company I interviewed with twice and they were known to hire any and everybody…….. but not me. Bitches
My favorite part of the summer? I decided to take singing lessons to keep my creative juices flowing and I thought i was okay at it on the way to being stellar at it. It was a testament to me doing something I’ve always wanted to do and finding a way to get it done. I met some cool ladies there who were all in the same boat I was in (learning) and it was a highlight of my year.Middle of the summer I decided to check out a play that one of my acting teachers wrote and it starred a couple of peeps I had acting classes with, I happened to sit with The Lady H another acting classmate who was also there for support as well. I went through my story and she offered to go over my resume and give me tips on how to stand out in a crowded employment field. She spruced up my resume and sent me links to some openings and encouraged me to join LinkedIn. The Lady H was a blessing beyond words and I thank God i was able to get out of my own way and not turn down help because of pride and what not.
I wanted to share my writings with the world and so I decided that I would submit some of my poetry for publication. I learned that you really should read the publications you are submitting to, needless to say my selections didn’t get picked and a valuable lesson was learned. Score one for experience……I woke up one morning in July and while trying to rush to the bathroom for my morning whizz, my mother hit me with the news that my cousin had passed. He was only 2 years older than me, we weren’t close to be honest, that was a product of my insecurities being around straight dudes and what not, but when we did see each other it was all love. I was in the midst of taking singing lessons and he was a music producer. Who knows what could have happened if we mixed and I had opened up about this part of my life. I try not to dwell on the what could have beens. Rest In Paradise
Hot, Humid August rolls around my unemployment benefits are at an end, resubmit my updated polished resume to all the different job search engines and I get some calls. Interviews roll through and I get 2 job offers in one day. Which do I choose? It came down to the schedules being offered and so I chose cable. I’m still there, going on the 5 month mark. Some days are longer and harder than others but that is to be expected in Customer Service. I’m still playing catch-up with getting my self-love back on track, I did connect with some cool people on social media whom I could consider friends, maybe one day I’ll share some vocal stylings on this here blog. 😉 I traveled to Toronto a place I’ve always wanted to visit and I booked a trip to Los Angeles in February 2017 , so more travel is definitely on my itinerary for this upcoming year. I learned I am resilient, confident at times, lazy, undeniably cool, charming and blessed.
Faith is something i’ve grown to have because it gets me through my life. I believe the Universe has something out there for me that is better than what i’m dealing with now.
I come back from taking some vacation days to my place of employment and basically there’s a mess. My response is
You were so busy that you couldn’t do the right thing and clean up after yourself? I’m at my breaking point and I don’t know how much longer I can take working at this place. This is where my faith has strongly played a part in my life.
I’ve only had 2 full-time jobs in my life and one ended because the company went out of business. My faith allowed me to pursue this opportunity knowing I’d get it so I can make the transition from job to job without being unemployed. The problem is that I got complacent and stayed at this job I don’t like for way too long and now it and most people who work there are getting under my skin. Dude, why are you still there you ask? The money is decent and my passion is in the creative arts which in my midwestern town,finding jobs that pay can be iffy.
I started about a year ago applying heavily to jobs in my actual degree and the response that was most popular was not enough experience. How can I get experience if no one will hire me?! Faith at this point is on the downward slide, I’ve asked the universe why am I not finding work that can pay my bills while pursuing my real passion and vocation. Quit my job and hope another comes along seems so foreign to me and to be honest stupid. I don’t want to go back after quitting because I know I could.
Prayer has helped me in some dicey situations and I try to pray at least once a day. All the solutions I’ve come up with seems so far-fetched that it seems improbable. Is that what faith is? Knowing that the solutions I am praying for, are for my own good even though they seem so out of what I would do on my own. I’ve gotten back up after setbacks because I had to. uncertainty in my future is crazy when my way of living is jeopardized but maybe that’s when Faith needs to be strongest.
Is the Universe saying have a little faith in me? Is the Universe saying believe I can and will provide for you!