Hold Up The Light

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

I’m still here, but I’ve thought about it

Not being here.

Driving on an overpass, how quick to jump

This too shall pass.

Looking at the bottle of pain pills, easy

Takes the pain away.

Looking into the future, it’s not clear

Sadly it’s filled with fear.

Injured from years Dr’s say neglect

And yet

I’m writing this. Am I the strong friend

The one no one checks on. Sometimes

take it day by day, telling the enemy go

away . I don’t want none of your time,

I got mine and I’m gonna be fine.

I learned of a local news reporter today

Who took her life, didn’t know her but

Tears automatically.

On a random night in ICU , i was there

Asking God to take me away

The toughest headache, the sharpest nerve

Pain, more drugs came, the feeling left

For a second.

The point is I’ve been there no judgement

What gets me through?

I’ve asked forgiveness for the wretched

Person i was to merge with the grown up

Man i am today.

Music also has been a great relief, songs

That have preached to me, spoken to me

One such song is the title to this freewrite

“Hold up the light” 3 amazing voices I

Heard talking to me and i thought

Maybe I’m the light? Is this what I’m here

For? Love, Light ,Fight for what’s right?

IDK life is crazy man. You still got me.

I ask for guidance Universe. let me be your

Vessel. I ask humbly to be a light in this

World of darkness…..

©️MarcusCaesar

fairy don’t you weep

shook up and scared

want to call someone

feels like no one cares

they say pray on it

don’t let your mind stay on it

coming out

easy for some, harder for others

mixed messages in media

i wanna use Expedia

to get away far away

fairy don’t you weep, you talented

kind, original blooming orchid

your tribe is waiting

anticipating, getting to know you

witness

love and joy

for you are a gift to the world fairy boy.


©️Marcus Caesar

Vessel Opening Pt 1

sitting, standing, lying down

the world still goes round

i’m searching, i’m contemplating

patiently waiting for

me to see what others see

bask in that glow

i’m not my thoughts

negative some(most) times they are

learning and growing

i’m yearning to who i am

forgiveness, grace, deep but buried

love shows as the crowd roars

sometimes love is poetry

writing thoughts out…hard

but when it comes a flowing

that’s love

i loved myself today

did you?

©️Marcus Caesar

Snack on this (thoughts in waiting)


I enjoy eating 

Fast foods, Snackfoods, good foods, bad foods 

It’s my armor

Invisible, seen, antisocial, mean

I choose this

Hard to quit, Easy to get, goes down smooth 

It’s how I cope

Sexuality, obesity, debt, stuck

I pray about it 

Love, money, purpose, relationships

It gets better, doesn’t it?  Hope. 

©MarcusCaesar

*i don’t own the image, Image is courtesy of google images*

A shot of light n life (elixir)

Guardian Angel hear my plea

Come rescue me

Depression has come calling 

Loud, strong, impressionable 

Feeling stuck, caged in you could say

Tell me something, make my day

Brighter, sunnier

Love letters to my heart

An elixir for my woes

Deep thinking, contemplating 

Just letting go, leaving it all behind 

Comparison is death at my age, any age

Oh sage, walk with me, talk with me

Give me the magic to mix this life

Into something I’d love, even like

Grant me the greatest gift 

Of being able to see the world in all

its glory, is it by telling stories?

One year older, hair a bit grayer 

I would like a sign for the piece of mind

To move forward knowing that life can be a 

Challenge and the storm I’m in won’t always

Be this way, oh heavens I pray 🙏🏽

Your Elixir would be most helpful whatever 

It may be, I kneel and bow to thee. 

Be the guide.

©Marcus Caesar