
the mirror scares me
I dont like what I see
the right food
misses me
taste buds I blame
hide my body in shame
vicious circle I have to break
to keep going.
©️2022 Marcus Caesar
the mirror scares me
I dont like what I see
the right food
misses me
taste buds I blame
hide my body in shame
vicious circle I have to break
to keep going.
©️2022 Marcus Caesar
“The breakdown is simple: 80 percent of the time you focus on eating clean, good-for-you foods, and 20 percent of the time you have the freedom to indulge as you please. Don’t be concerned about the math, but it’s simple: if you eat three square meals a day, three of those meals every week are your 20 percent cheat meals; if you eat five small meals a day, then seven of those small meals are up for grabs” -Lizzie Fuhr/PopSugar.com
I admit when I’m happy I want to eat, when I’m sad I want to eat. It’s ingrained in my soul. Eat good and eat well. The problem is you can gain weight from doing it. (I know shameful ain’t it) My clothes fit so I haven’t worried too much until I saw myself on camera. Holy bank of America shit cans, I look huge and sloppy and unattractive and every other bad thing you can throw in the mix. I cried about it for a couple of days (literally) but decided to do something about it.
As I was looking at older pictures of a skinnier me, I went back to a time when I consumed no more than 1400 calories a day but lost close to 90 pounds. I couldn’t keep that up so I gained some of it back. What I discovered was that with eating certain foods I felt lighter my stomach felt better and I was more joyful. (I know, hard to believe) I follow several fitness “experts” on social media and this one principle stood out the most 80% good meals and 20% bad but delicious meals.
I took that as eat more of this
Eat less of this
I put a plan to work, eat salads on my lunch break, bring a protein bar as well as to not snack on unhealthy foods and what do ya know I’ve lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks. Small steps I have to remember but wouldn’t it be nice to lose 10 pounds quickly just by eating salads! (yes) I’m learning to not beat myself up over my chocolate milkshake slip-ups. After all I’m human (for those who were wondering). I’ll keep you posted on how this journey turns out. I have some big life changes planned that will be taking place before 2016 and will be using this platform to vent and celebrate.
Until then, thanks for reading……
CaesarMarques
My weight has always been an issue for me well at least since High School when i thought eating multiple whoppers with cheese would cure my social anxieties. In the early 90’s for some reason burgers were always on sale and I was happy to take advantage. You have to realize that I grew up on 8 mile (A famous movie that was set not on that particular road but was filmed near it which makes it special nonetheless) where there were ALL different types of fast food restaurants close by. My parents worked a lot and rarely cooked anything i liked, so i lived on banquet dinners, Kraft Macaroni in the box and Fast Food restaurant of my choice.
I used the excuse that walking to said restaurants I was exercising the McNuggets off. It didn’t work. I rarely exercised besides the walking to the restaurants, so as you can guess I never lost the weight. I did bowl, so i have strong/toned arms. At my biggest I was a 54 waist, working for a grocery store I had access to a lot of junky foods, fried chicken and the occasional salad. I was talked about and teased for being the big guy but that didn’t motivate me that just sent me to ask for more hours so I can upgrade to super size meals at THAT restaurant. As a grown man it was up and down, up and down for my weight until my pimp Sallie Mae came through.
Having Sallie’s help, I signed up for a medical weight loss plan that cut my calorie intake dramatically while going to the gym 3 days a week. Good News was that I lost 93 pounds. Bad News was that in the maintenance portion of the program I gained 35 of it back. I however continued to go to the gym upping my time there to 5 days a week. I’m thinking if i’m gonna pay for it better use it. I gained muscle and I was content, not happy though. I did this all while on the midnight shift, so I was proud. I recently (Sept) went to the day shift and i’m finding it hard to stay on the fitness track I set up.
This is where the challenge comes in. I follow many people on social media who are fit, it can be done I know this. I wanna connect with people like me who work a 9 to 5 gig and stay fit. No offense to the personal trainers who work 9 to 5, i’m excluding you because your job is at the GYM. It gets me annoyed when Famous people give advice because they have access to things that a regular shmo like me don’t (personal trainers, personal cooks, more money).
In conclusion, where are my fitness warriors who can help me out? Working a job and taking care of family and STILL go to the gym, i salute you. I’m learning not to stress so much over it, its more enjoyable that way. i’m gonna go now, I have a date with Leg Day in the morning. (sigh)