on my knees
with trembling hands
i ask the Holy Spirit
for peace
knowing I’m not perfect
but I’m still working
on my destiny
could it be
right in front of me?
the message is clear
insert some play time dear
all questions will be answered.
©️MarcusCaesar
I have a mission
through words, through performance
uplift, spread joy
I am that boy.
©️MarcusCaesar
It’s hard
coming, going, never knowing
romantic love
sure there’s lust
but you can’t trust
everyone.
I open my mind and heart
that’s where I’ll start
maybe one day?
©️MarcusCaesar
I’m still here, but I’ve thought about it
Not being here.
Driving on an overpass, how quick to jump
This too shall pass.
Looking at the bottle of pain pills, easy
Takes the pain away.
Looking into the future, it’s not clear
Sadly it’s filled with fear.
Injured from years Dr’s say neglect
And yet
I’m writing this. Am I the strong friend
The one no one checks on. Sometimes
take it day by day, telling the enemy go
away . I don’t want none of your time,
I got mine and I’m gonna be fine.
I learned of a local news reporter today
Who took her life, didn’t know her but
Tears automatically.
On a random night in ICU , i was there
Asking God to take me away
The toughest headache, the sharpest nerve
Pain, more drugs came, the feeling left
For a second.
The point is I’ve been there no judgement
What gets me through?
I’ve asked forgiveness for the wretched
Person i was to merge with the grown up
Man i am today.
Music also has been a great relief, songs
That have preached to me, spoken to me
One such song is the title to this freewrite
“Hold up the light” 3 amazing voices I
Heard talking to me and i thought
Maybe I’m the light? Is this what I’m here
For? Love, Light ,Fight for what’s right?
IDK life is crazy man. You still got me.
I ask for guidance Universe. let me be your
Vessel. I ask humbly to be a light in this
World of darkness…..
©️MarcusCaesar
believe that things will work out
erase any doubt
work towards it, I adore it
the feeling of it
trusting the universe.
©️MarcusCaesar
shook up and scared
want to call someone
feels like no one cares
they say pray on it
don’t let your mind stay on it
coming out
easy for some, harder for others
mixed messages in media
i wanna use Expedia
to get away far away
fairy don’t you weep, you talented
kind, original blooming orchid
your tribe is waiting
anticipating, getting to know you
witness
for you are a gift to the world fairy boy.
©️Marcus Caesar
i/u asked for it
i’ve/you’ve worked for it
said it loud
through manifestation
it could be here at any moment.
Thoughts for my/thyself
©️MarcusCaesar
sitting, standing, lying down
the world still goes round
i’m searching, i’m contemplating
patiently waiting for
me to see what others see
bask in that glow
i’m not my thoughts
negative some(most) times they are
learning and growing
i’m yearning to who i am
forgiveness, grace, deep but buried
love shows as the crowd roars
sometimes love is poetry
writing thoughts out…hard
but when it comes a flowing
that’s love
did you?
©️Marcus Caesar
One month ago today, my job was eliminated. It’s a prime example of be careful of what you ask for or you just might get it. My co-workers and I used to joke about getting paid to stay at home and guess what happened….
It’s a shocker for sure because i’d heard it happen and read of it happening but to see it actually happen in real time? Knocks you on your ass. There were a lot of technical issues that day, but we still didn’t think it was gonna be a Purge situation….
A month later to reflect and here’s the thing…you ready for it? I don’t miss it, I met some great people but being cursed out on a daily basis for something I couldn’t fix was not my ideal work environment. While I wont bash the company I worked for those 2 years because hey I signed up for it and my bills were paid and it literally does me no good and it doesn’t make me feel better. That chapter of my life is done….
What’s next you want to know? World Domination *inserts* evil laugh. Honestly the world is open to me now in a way that I’d never felt before. Should I
I mean the list can go on and on and it’s all thanks to ?!*+%&=@!!!! You know who you are buddy. I’m gonna make sure that the next path I choose is not fear based. That I know for sure.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk
Marcus Caesar
koolest1uknow 