conditional self-love

memoir

When you love

is it conditional

I’m speaking of myself

the days I haven’t spoken the

kindest words or thought the

kindest thoughts…..

I’m trying

©️MarcusCaesar

Magic Mind

poetry

cultivate your reality

I’ve still a long way to go

my negativity takes over

i feel like game over

thoughts become things

change them change your life

in progress.

©️MarcusCaesar

Get Silly

poetry

comfortable shoes or none at all

new attitude

noise canceling headphones

great big cojones

salt-n-pepa, robin s, cece peniston,

black box, to name a few….

start with the groove

drop down into the pocket

feel it in your veins

ignore everyone around

bend your legs, arch your back

don’t turn around, the past is wack…

rhythm is going to get you

catch you and never release you

if the rhythm feels good to you baby let me

hear you say uh uh baby

your inner child thanks you

©️MarcusCaesar

In 💔 with your fav rapper

poetry

I had to getaway

the road was my muse

I refused to settle

i then met him

he paid my bills for a year

said anything you want my dear

don’t tell

it never fails

to go this route…

No feelings involved

he was my ticket here

he told me don’t worry

nothing to fear

against my better judgment

thought of him as my husband

and then everything went to hell

it started with needing bail

for what you say

I was dumb okay…

I should’ve never went announced

to be unexpected and he was undetected

was a problem for him

There was a fight

I tried with all my might

to leave him/it alone but

I felt beholden to him

saving my life in so many ways

but life needs to be golden for me

without him.

Lesson Learned

©️MarcusCaesar

you’re down? stay there bitch

poetry

work hard to keep it up the facade of being present

work to maintain, never show shame of all the things I’ve done in my past

I’ve asked forgiveness, hoping for a one way ticket out of this wilderness

July hasn’t been kind, messing with my mind. What If I wasn’t here?

Sorry Universe, this like gets/got me down, feeling like a clown

All the work I put into keeping the facade up, to see it come down

Cry myself to sleep, shout into a pillow, allowing myself to willow in the wind of disappointment

I’m not this, this is not me

You’re breaking me down, is it to build me up?

Please advise.

©️MarcusCaesar

couples therapy

poetry

I am sex

I am learning

I am mouthwatering

I am yearning

to share myself with you

not just fake you but all of you

I want to taste you

from your toes to your lips

and everywhere in between

Johnson in my mouth

there is no doubt

this is where I’m supposed to be

Taste her beaver

never would deceive her

I am open to it all

where you come from where I come from

It’s like a buffet many options

take your pick so that’s what I did

I am perfectly human

I of course know what I’m doing

make you both scream my name

Climaxes near

everything I hold dear

all over your body

you know my story

Now off to morning glory

Call time 11pm tomorrow night

don’t be late I wont bite

I’ll enjoy taking care of you both 💋

©️MarcusCaesar

personal holiday

essay, memoir

“It’s time for the good times
Forget about the bad times, oh yeah
One day to come together to release the pressure
We need a holiday” – Madonna

on this day nine years ago, i revealed a personal truth to my parents

like pressure off your brain it was needed. My fam is low-key so it wasn’t the

biggest deal to them, but to me my world was a bit lighter . I’m proud. I’m blessed.

ups and downs both abound but I’m still trucking. Haven’t found my forever but

there’s hope. so while people celebrate the holiday of our fallen soldiers, i celebrate

the holiday of my fallen facade, lies I told to belong so long ago.

Selah’

©️MarcusCaesar