Almost 40

haiku, poetry

you are who you are

searching , a quest never ending

I’m not there yet, but soon.

©️MarcusCaesar

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you’re down? stay there bitch

poetry

work hard to keep it up the facade of being present

work to maintain, never show shame of all the things I’ve done in my past

I’ve asked forgiveness, hoping for a one way ticket out of this wilderness

July hasn’t been kind, messing with my mind. What If I wasn’t here?

Sorry Universe, this like gets/got me down, feeling like a clown

All the work I put into keeping the facade up, to see it come down

Cry myself to sleep, shout into a pillow, allowing myself to willow in the wind of disappointment

I’m not this, this is not me

You’re breaking me down, is it to build me up?

Please advise.

©️MarcusCaesar

trouble in the world today

poetry

rage boiling

you’re offended by everything

when will you smile again

go through this earth like a child again

no need for an answer

hate takes over like a cancer

re-center, play all day

balance, rinse and repeat.

you’re only human.

©️MarcusCaesar

the blessing of the unnoticed

poetry

on my knees

with trembling hands

i ask the Holy Spirit

for peace

knowing I’m not perfect

but I’m still working

on my destiny

could it be

right in front of me?

the message is clear

insert some play time dear

all questions will be answered.

©️MarcusCaesar

Hold Up The Light

family, life, memoir

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

I’m still here, but I’ve thought about it

Not being here.

Driving on an overpass, how quick to jump

This too shall pass.

Looking at the bottle of pain pills, easy

Takes the pain away.

Looking into the future, it’s not clear

Sadly it’s filled with fear.

Injured from years Dr’s say neglect

And yet

I’m writing this. Am I the strong friend

The one no one checks on. Sometimes

take it day by day, telling the enemy go

away . I don’t want none of your time,

I got mine and I’m gonna be fine.

I learned of a local news reporter today

Who took her life, didn’t know her but

Tears automatically.

On a random night in ICU , i was there

Asking God to take me away

The toughest headache, the sharpest nerve

Pain, more drugs came, the feeling left

For a second.

The point is I’ve been there no judgement

What gets me through?

I’ve asked forgiveness for the wretched

Person i was to merge with the grown up

Man i am today.

Music also has been a great relief, songs

That have preached to me, spoken to me

One such song is the title to this freewrite

“Hold up the light” 3 amazing voices I

Heard talking to me and i thought

Maybe I’m the light? Is this what I’m here

For? Love, Light ,Fight for what’s right?

IDK life is crazy man. You still got me.

I ask for guidance Universe. let me be your

Vessel. I ask humbly to be a light in this

World of darkness…..

©️MarcusCaesar