In 💔 with your fav rapper

poetry

I had to getaway

the road was my muse

I refused to settle

i then met him

he paid my bills for a year

said anything you want my dear

don’t tell

it never fails

to go this route…

No feelings involved

he was my ticket here

he told me don’t worry

nothing to fear

against my better judgment

thought of him as my husband

and then everything went to hell

it started with needing bail

for what you say

I was dumb okay…

I should’ve never went announced

to be unexpected and he was undetected

was a problem for him

There was a fight

I tried with all my might

to leave him/it alone but

I felt beholden to him

saving my life in so many ways

but life needs to be golden for me

without him.

Lesson Learned

©️MarcusCaesar

Hold Up The Light

family, life, memoir

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

I’m still here, but I’ve thought about it

Not being here.

Driving on an overpass, how quick to jump

This too shall pass.

Looking at the bottle of pain pills, easy

Takes the pain away.

Looking into the future, it’s not clear

Sadly it’s filled with fear.

Injured from years Dr’s say neglect

And yet

I’m writing this. Am I the strong friend

The one no one checks on. Sometimes

take it day by day, telling the enemy go

away . I don’t want none of your time,

I got mine and I’m gonna be fine.

I learned of a local news reporter today

Who took her life, didn’t know her but

Tears automatically.

On a random night in ICU , i was there

Asking God to take me away

The toughest headache, the sharpest nerve

Pain, more drugs came, the feeling left

For a second.

The point is I’ve been there no judgement

What gets me through?

I’ve asked forgiveness for the wretched

Person i was to merge with the grown up

Man i am today.

Music also has been a great relief, songs

That have preached to me, spoken to me

One such song is the title to this freewrite

“Hold up the light” 3 amazing voices I

Heard talking to me and i thought

Maybe I’m the light? Is this what I’m here

For? Love, Light ,Fight for what’s right?

IDK life is crazy man. You still got me.

I ask for guidance Universe. let me be your

Vessel. I ask humbly to be a light in this

World of darkness…..

©️MarcusCaesar

When you know you know 🤷🏽‍♂️

life, poetry, poetry creative writing

so bright 

wanna shine 

i step back

because of “what they think”

creative life

my own limitations 

are blinding me

can’t won’t see

compliments from peeps 

watching stars Glaring

trying to be free

of the old me

wipe the mirror dude

see yourself 

be yourself 

walk into the light

u have the fight

gonna get it right 

someday is tonight

while sounds of blackness 

optimistic plays in the background 

©MarcusCaesar

Now is here at this moment…

life, Lists

and-will-you-succeed-dr-seuss-quote-1024x563

courtesy of Bing Images

I haven’t been happy for a while, there I said it. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. I put so much on material things and the need to feel like I’m somebody and have it be acknowledged in the world that I lost sight of joy. I see it in others but have yet to acknowledge it in my own existence. Will I find it? It’s a daily challenge. Its hard work trying to give smiles when you feel sad.  I’ve neglected this blog because I’ve felt dry creatively. I’m sure that most writers have felt this way at some point in their journey. Today I’m gonna take a step in another direction and post 15 things I’m in love with and grateful for right now, because today is the 15th. 😉

1)      Emeli Sande’ s “Don’t Fight The Bullet”, “Colorblind” and “Hurts”

2)      Adidas Slides

3)      Norah Jones’s “Change is Gonna Come”

4)      Twitter for endless commentary that’s funny, inspiring and outrageous

5)      The means to pay bills

6)      A man with nice feet

7)      Marvel Comic illustration covers based on Hip-Hop Album covers

8)      Garlicky shrimp pasta alfredo

9)      Barbers who adjust to your schedule

10)  The whole movie theatre experience (seats, big screen, surround sound, snacks)

11)  Mudslides

12)   Christina Aguilera’s “I Will Be”

13)   Toronto, Canada

14)  British Pop Music

15)  People who accept me as I am.

Vocal Warmup

life, poetry, Uncategorized

stock-photo-senior-music-teacher-pointing-to-a-music-board-72910063

Find your natural voice the teacher says

Never knowing the price the past paid

In losing such a valuable instrument.

Sounding like a girl when you’re supposed

 To be a man can let down your spirits

Up your guard and unknowingly make your life hard

Find your natural voice the teacher says

No falsetto, strong and proud

I wanna hear your voice so sing it loud

Pick a song any song share your gift with the world

I’m here for a reason to help you understand

Voices come in all shapes and sizes

Its time you realizes that we won’t all

Sound the same, look the same

I can’t pretend to understand your pain

But I can help you become aware

Gifts so rare that not everyone gets it

It’s for the tried and true alone

Give it some time your flower will be full blown

Luther, Freddie, Donny, Sam, Michael and Prince

Shared, cared and paved the way with musical talent

Beyond compare, so how dare you

Not treat this gift with the utmost care

Nurture it, teach it, stretch it

Find your natural voice the teacher says

I will I reply give me some time

Learn for this gift, use this gift

Share this gift because God gave me this gift.

 

©MarcusCaesar

Lightskinned GodFather

creative non-fiction, essay, life, Uncategorized

prince

Ipod turned up loud passing on seems to do that to an artist you’ve admired for so long

the music loud and fierce never saw you live but from what ive heard that concert was one

not to miss the TV performances are what I gauge my fascination on that’s right he’s gone.

The Beautiful Ones-Brilliant

Kiss- Sexy

I wanna be your Lover -Magnificent

Diamonds and Pearls- Ultimate Love Song

Sexy MF -Manifesto

Growing up lighter skinned black it felt like you were our compass on how we shouldn’t

act. You were deemed soft so we all were soft, you dressed in a way that was all your own

There you were unapologetically light, permed, sometimes made up one time ass all out

I was young I didn’t know or care what that was all about. In the later years your artistry

never waned you taught us light-skinned men that we can be beautiful, hair layed,

eyebrows done and still have a shit ton of fun. It wasn’t about sexuality so much it was

freedom of expression. Fuck the box. Create your own lane. There will never be another.

I believe in my heart of hearts this is what you’d want. No facsimiles.

Create our own space. Be your own individual. Shock the world. Live on your own terms.

You will never leave because music never dies. R.I.P

©2016 CaesarMarques

 

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images