music

In 💔 with your fav rapper

poetry

I had to getaway

the road was my muse

I refused to settle

i then met him

he paid my bills for a year

said anything you want my dear

don’t tell

it never fails

to go this route…

No feelings involved

he was my ticket here

he told me don’t worry

nothing to fear

against my better judgment

thought of him as my husband

and then everything went to hell

it started with needing bail

for what you say

I was dumb okay…

I should’ve never went announced

to be unexpected and he was undetected

was a problem for him

There was a fight

I tried with all my might

to leave him/it alone but

I felt beholden to him

saving my life in so many ways

but life needs to be golden for me

without him.

Lesson Learned

©️MarcusCaesar

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Hold Up The Light

family, life, memoir

Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

I’m still here, but I’ve thought about it

Not being here.

Driving on an overpass, how quick to jump

This too shall pass.

Looking at the bottle of pain pills, easy

Takes the pain away.

Looking into the future, it’s not clear

Sadly it’s filled with fear.

Injured from years Dr’s say neglect

And yet

I’m writing this. Am I the strong friend

The one no one checks on. Sometimes

take it day by day, telling the enemy go

away . I don’t want none of your time,

I got mine and I’m gonna be fine.

I learned of a local news reporter today

Who took her life, didn’t know her but

Tears automatically.

On a random night in ICU , i was there

Asking God to take me away

The toughest headache, the sharpest nerve

Pain, more drugs came, the feeling left

For a second.

The point is I’ve been there no judgement

What gets me through?

I’ve asked forgiveness for the wretched

Person i was to merge with the grown up

Man i am today.

Music also has been a great relief, songs

That have preached to me, spoken to me

One such song is the title to this freewrite

“Hold up the light” 3 amazing voices I

Heard talking to me and i thought

Maybe I’m the light? Is this what I’m here

For? Love, Light ,Fight for what’s right?

IDK life is crazy man. You still got me.

I ask for guidance Universe. let me be your

Vessel. I ask humbly to be a light in this

World of darkness…..

©️MarcusCaesar

When you know you know 🤷🏽‍♂️

life, poetry, poetry creative writing

so bright 

wanna shine 

i step back

because of “what they think”

creative life

my own limitations 

are blinding me

can’t won’t see

compliments from peeps 

watching stars Glaring

trying to be free

of the old me

wipe the mirror dude

see yourself 

be yourself 

walk into the light

u have the fight

gonna get it right 

someday is tonight

while sounds of blackness 

optimistic plays in the background 

©MarcusCaesar

Now is here at this moment…

life, Lists
and-will-you-succeed-dr-seuss-quote-1024x563

courtesy of Bing Images

I haven’t been happy for a while, there I said it. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. I put so much on material things and the need to feel like I’m somebody and have it be acknowledged in the world that I lost sight of joy. I see it in others but have yet to acknowledge it in my own existence. Will I find it? It’s a daily challenge. Its hard work trying to give smiles when you feel sad.  I’ve neglected this blog because I’ve felt dry creatively. I’m sure that most writers have felt this way at some point in their journey. Today I’m gonna take a step in another direction and post 15 things I’m in love with and grateful for right now, because today is the 15th. 😉

1)      Emeli Sande’ s “Don’t Fight The Bullet”, “Colorblind” and “Hurts”

2)      Adidas Slides

3)      Norah Jones’s “Change is Gonna Come”

4)      Twitter for endless commentary that’s funny, inspiring and outrageous

5)      The means to pay bills

6)      A man with nice feet

7)      Marvel Comic illustration covers based on Hip-Hop Album covers

8)      Garlicky shrimp pasta alfredo

9)      Barbers who adjust to your schedule

10)  The whole movie theatre experience (seats, big screen, surround sound, snacks)

11)  Mudslides

12)   Christina Aguilera’s “I Will Be”

13)   Toronto, Canada

14)  British Pop Music

15)  People who accept me as I am.

Vocal Warmup

life, poetry, Uncategorized

stock-photo-senior-music-teacher-pointing-to-a-music-board-72910063

Find your natural voice the teacher says

Never knowing the price the past paid

In losing such a valuable instrument.

Sounding like a girl when you’re supposed

 To be a man can let down your spirits

Up your guard and unknowingly make your life hard

Find your natural voice the teacher says

No falsetto, strong and proud

I wanna hear your voice so sing it loud

Pick a song any song share your gift with the world

I’m here for a reason to help you understand

Voices come in all shapes and sizes

Its time you realizes that we won’t all

Sound the same, look the same

I can’t pretend to understand your pain

But I can help you become aware

Gifts so rare that not everyone gets it

It’s for the tried and true alone

Give it some time your flower will be full blown

Luther, Freddie, Donny, Sam, Michael and Prince

Shared, cared and paved the way with musical talent

Beyond compare, so how dare you

Not treat this gift with the utmost care

Nurture it, teach it, stretch it

Find your natural voice the teacher says

I will I reply give me some time

Learn for this gift, use this gift

Share this gift because God gave me this gift.

 

©MarcusCaesar

Lightskinned GodFather

creative non-fiction, essay, life, Uncategorized

prince

Ipod turned up loud passing on seems to do that to an artist you’ve admired for so long

the music loud and fierce never saw you live but from what ive heard that concert was one

not to miss the TV performances are what I gauge my fascination on that’s right he’s gone.

The Beautiful Ones-Brilliant

Kiss- Sexy

I wanna be your Lover -Magnificent

Diamonds and Pearls- Ultimate Love Song

Sexy MF -Manifesto

Growing up lighter skinned black it felt like you were our compass on how we shouldn’t

act. You were deemed soft so we all were soft, you dressed in a way that was all your own

There you were unapologetically light, permed, sometimes made up one time ass all out

I was young I didn’t know or care what that was all about. In the later years your artistry

never waned you taught us light-skinned men that we can be beautiful, hair layed,

eyebrows done and still have a shit ton of fun. It wasn’t about sexuality so much it was

freedom of expression. Fuck the box. Create your own lane. There will never be another.

I believe in my heart of hearts this is what you’d want. No facsimiles.

Create our own space. Be your own individual. Shock the world. Live on your own terms.

You will never leave because music never dies. R.I.P

©2016 CaesarMarques

 

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

Music That Uplifts…Part 3

essay, life, memoir, Uncategorized

giphy (2)

You are not being punished; you are being prepared.

Prepared for more love. Prepared for more impact. Prepared to inspire change in others. Prepared for more awareness. Prepared for your dreams.

–          Mastin Kipp

Hitting rough patches has been one of the defining moments in my life, something I remember more than the good stuff. Not good. I want balance, to appreciate the dark and use it to enjoy the light. It’s hard to admit the victim mentality has an allure that I’ve been used to for far too long. I’m learning that. I made a recent post on Facebook about getting kicked down and a friend suggested a song to listen to keep my spirits up, it was one that I hadn’t considered but the idea was one I always relied on. Music as a therapy placeholder keeping your spirit intact and sometimes making you look a million different ways at things through lyrics. Here are some lyrics that have resonated with me recently…….

 

So come back when I’m good to go. I got drinks to drink, and men to hold. I got good things to do with my life, yeah. Oh, I wanna dance in the open breeze. Feel the wind in my hair, hear the ocean sing. I got good things to feel in my life, yeah

-Sia “Reaper”

I just wanna be happy. But if I keep on doing the things That keep on bringing me pain. There’s no one else I can blame. If I’m not happy. Wasted time but now I can see. The biggest enemy it was me. So I’m not happy

-Kirk Franklin “Wanna Be Happy”

Your Grace makes ALL Saints out of Sinners! Now I’ve tried my ways but the way that I need is yours. I look to you when it’s all right. I’ll look to you when it’s all wrong. Please, remind me, when I get low. What you see when you look at me. What I know I can be

-Monica “Saints and Sinners”

 

 

 

I hope this post finds you in good spirits and great health. I enjoy sharing and I hope to do more in 2016. Peace and love…..

©CaesarMarques2016

Music that uplifts….Part 2 #poetry

poetry, poetry creative writing
Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

 

 All day noise, people talking to me, O please just leave me be
       headphones where are you i feel you calling my name, put you in
       this is where my smile begins. Put on that new Janet or Jessie J
       I'm confident these ladies and their grooves have something to say
       if i wanna feel on top of the world, maybe Brandy can help
       or a dose of Jay Z let his cool rhymes and intricate wordplay work on me.
 
       Whatever the mood music can help, hey put on Missy and Tim they got beats
       just enjoy yourself. When you wanna hear vocals for days, I put on Pink
       Whitney, Luther or Mariah music so good goes down like babies and pacifiers
     love music nothing can compare, I may even listen to Bach well maybe on a dare
       Headphones won't let me go, I'm in another world. Lyrics speak my heart
       Melodies speak my soul, Music is a gift, a gun to my head lock and load
        music never gets old and it never will.

 
© 2015 CaesarMarques

Authentic faces through musical lyrics….#poetry

poetry, poetry creative writing
Illustration by Neil Torres

Illustration by Neil Torres

**For this exercise we were to explore a form of poetry called found poetry, you look up pieces that have already been written and make a poem out of it. There were several examples to use. I picked one of my favorite musicians and picked 9 of her songs took a lyric from each and put together a very personal poem about basically being my authentic self. Her music has gotten me through a lot of good and bad times. I found the illustration on Instagram and thought it would fit perfectly with the theme faces.

Authentic faces through musical lyrics

I refuse to falter in what i believe or lose faith in my dreams

After so much suffering

You’ll always be a part of me. I’m part of you indefinitely

There’s an answer if you reach into your soul and that sorrow you know will melt away

And lightning don’t strike the same place twice, when you and I

No stress, no fights I’m leaving it all behind no tears no time to cry

Images of rapture creep into me slowly

But we all make mistakes, felt the guilt and self hate.

Music that uplifts….

essay, life
Photo Courtesy of Bing

Photo Courtesy of Bing

Those who know me well know that music is a big part of my life, I still own the iPod classic and have close to 7000 songs on it. You can say its the main reason I like going to the gym, not to gain muscle tone or lose weight but to listen to a whole album with no interruption. Putting on headphones or even turning up the volume in my car is almost spiritual. I was trying to think of something to blog about today and this prompt came up, 5 songs you last listened to. I decided to go one step further and pick 5 songs that uplift me, my mood and my singing game (more on that in another post) Here we go….

Can’t Give Up Now- Mary Mary 

The overriding theme of this song is of a spiritual nature with lyrics like “I don’t believe he’s brought me this far to leave me” with vocals that if sang live could shake the venue its performed in. It’s gospel music that tells you to never give up and I listen to it during strength training.

Won’t Back Down Eminem feat Pink

A fist pumping anthem that I take as an underdog song with ferocious lyrics by one of the greatest rappers that has ever done it and a chorus sung by my favorite female singer. “You can sound the alarm, you can hold all the cards, you can fence in the yard but I wont back down. Oh no” How can you not get pumped with those lyrics in your ear?

Roar- Katy Perry

A pure and delectable piece of sonic pop candy this song immediately grabbed me with its catchy-ness. I almost did 90 minutes of cardio listening so it deserves special mention. The chorus is played in locker rooms across the US I hear and for good reason what better way to get pumped to win any sports game.

Born This Way Lady GaGa

Another sonic piece of pop candy that is one of the best LGBT anthems of my generation. We are all born a little different and this song celebrates it in a bold way that’s incredibly catchy. My own coming out process benefited heavily from listening to this track basically telling me I’m gonna be alright cause God makes no mistakes. I say Amen to that.

Rise Up- Andra Day

Talk about a track that sneaks up on you. I rarely listen to the radio so I’m normally late on new songs but this was playing at the movie theater of all places. She is a new artist and incredibly talented who writes her own lyrics. The song basically is telling you to get up and seize the day, no matter what and I believe it came right on time in my life.

This is just the tip of the iceberg as far as music goes there are hundreds more I can add but I don’t wanna hold you hostage 😉 So what songs uplift you? When you put on music to get through the day who or what kind captures your soul? Until next time I’ll just be over here with my headphones ….

giphy.com

giphy.com

CaesarMarques