Some Puzzle Pieces Wont Fit…

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Photo credit: Bing Images

I bought some new shoes

Now it takes away the blues

Walking strong alone

 

I bought a new car

Moonroof and leather seats

Am I ever gonna get to share these treats

 

I bought some jewelry

Gold shining in the light

Whose hand am I holding tonight?

 

I bought a new home

Marble counters and jetted tub

Life is great dinner’s ready at 8

 

I bought a new body

6 pack abs and ego to match

Attitude strong no problems here

 

I bought a new life

Found out it didn’t fulfill what was inside

All the insecurities I tried to hide.

 

©2016 CaesarMarques

When unavailable feels so good…

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photo credit: bing.com/images

When the sun sets our tongues collide

I’ve been waiting for you strong

The pressure mounts the thoughts seep

Through sweat through our pores why

Didn’t I ever ignore the signs you showed

My feelings were bold truth be told I didn’t

Wouldn’t care these sweet nothings were ours

To share between us too but deep down I knew

You didn’t have to tell me I saw in your gifts

The weekend visits the out of town trips

My heart can’t take much more of this ache

My feelings I forsake for the sanctity of your hands

In mines. It’s not meant to be I don’t want to be on

The side watching family pics on IG wishing that was me

That’s not the life I see for myself

It won’t feel the same without you but

It’s a price I have to pay there can be no other way

I’ll miss your lip quiver when my tongue touched that space

And I’ll also miss that smile on your face

My life will go on this I know to be true

I’m making this the ending for me and you.

©2016 Caesar Marques

 

Artistic Prerogative?

214258-Quotes+by+famous+artists++++Separating the artist from the art. Its kind of hard to take them apart.

He hates the LGBT community and so does she but I love the art they put

into the world. Question comes up should I support or should I abort

all media from these people who don’t agree with my life

and no it’s not a lifestyle, I could go for miles running my mouth

about how hypocritical these artists are, problem is my arguments

wont go very far. Many people talk but not a lot of people listen would

they really stop and pay attention? what I feel is valid and what you feel

is valid too lets both live our lives making it do what it do. I listen to some

music because its inspirational, the universe helped you sing that song to

help everyone including me, member of the LGBT. When you pass I will mourn

you and the art you shared for you were an inspiration, one of those who dared

be unapologetically who you were. A lesson for us all

©2016 CaesarMarques

Lightskinned GodFather

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Ipod turned up loud passing on seems to do that to an artist you’ve admired for so long

the music loud and fierce never saw you live but from what ive heard that concert was one

not to miss the TV performances are what I gauge my fascination on that’s right he’s gone.

The Beautiful Ones-Brilliant

Kiss- Sexy

I wanna be your Lover -Magnificent

Diamonds and Pearls- Ultimate Love Song

Sexy MF -Manifesto

Growing up lighter skinned black it felt like you were our compass on how we shouldn’t

act. You were deemed soft so we all were soft, you dressed in a way that was all your own

There you were unapologetically light, permed, sometimes made up one time ass all out

I was young I didn’t know or care what that was all about. In the later years your artistry

never waned you taught us light-skinned men that we can be beautiful, hair layed,

eyebrows done and still have a shit ton of fun. It wasn’t about sexuality so much it was

freedom of expression. Fuck the box. Create your own lane. There will never be another.

I believe in my heart of hearts this is what you’d want. No facsimiles.

Create our own space. Be your own individual. Shock the world. Live on your own terms.

You will never leave because music never dies. R.I.P

©2016 CaesarMarques

 

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

We R Who We R

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Photo Courtesy of Bing Images

In 1980, the foundation was solid, hearts were filled, joy was released

peace had been found a new entity was in town.

Growing up not knowing how he felt was considered wrong he clawed

and he clawed but ultimately felt all alone.

Then it came, teenage years hit like a brick, hygiene less than perfect

fitting in was the goal, slowly selling his soul.

The property fell in decay, all that promise slowly started going away

he had much to say but didn’t feel safe enough to say it.

Oh, many people tried to get behind the wall others just teased

family plus friends et all.

Shut down, anti social, a brick home no foundation just a lot of  furniture

send people away it’s for the best don’t you see the S on this chest?

Late 20’s a merger was announced, spirit and joy came to rescue your boy

and things started turning around.

It shows what happens when investing in yourself because let’s face it, it could be no one else

that will take care of things like you can.

Are things perfect not at all he’s still scared to fall but knows there’s a net

and a light that never fails and likea great angelic spirit this dude will prevail.

©CaesarMarques 2016

Is it still a block if…

Msbookish

I’ve complained of writers block in my head for a while now. It was getting better when I came across a book of story prompts that got my imagination going and doing them each day was exciting. I lost that fire, in the midst of it all my temporary position ended and the search for a new position started and I had to prioritize my time and the writing got left on the back burner. It’s not that I’m void of ideas, I keep my iPhone notes app plenty busy with nuggets of inspiration from reading posts on Facebook to some lyrics in a song that spark my fancy.

Its more an attention span thing for me when I get so inspired about an idea and then completely leave it be, go back to it and then blank. Does anybody else have that issue? It’s not that I’m blocked or suffering from the dreaded writers block or am I?, it’s that not one idea holds my attention long enough. I’m right in the middle of reading the second book of the “Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children” book series, (which is great btw) and I get flashes of inspiration so that helps. I’m guessing my issue lies in keeping with an idea long enough to get a short story, screenplay or novel started.

What are some tips from some of my fellow bloggers? writers? authors? poets? screenwriters?

Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

CaesarMarques

 

 

Photo Courtesy of Bing.com/ms.bookish.com

 

Music That Uplifts…Part 3

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You are not being punished; you are being prepared.

Prepared for more love. Prepared for more impact. Prepared to inspire change in others. Prepared for more awareness. Prepared for your dreams.

–          Mastin Kipp

Hitting rough patches has been one of the defining moments in my life, something I remember more than the good stuff. Not good. I want balance, to appreciate the dark and use it to enjoy the light. It’s hard to admit the victim mentality has an allure that I’ve been used to for far too long. I’m learning that. I made a recent post on Facebook about getting kicked down and a friend suggested a song to listen to keep my spirits up, it was one that I hadn’t considered but the idea was one I always relied on. Music as a therapy placeholder keeping your spirit intact and sometimes making you look a million different ways at things through lyrics. Here are some lyrics that have resonated with me recently…….

 

So come back when I’m good to go. I got drinks to drink, and men to hold. I got good things to do with my life, yeah. Oh, I wanna dance in the open breeze. Feel the wind in my hair, hear the ocean sing. I got good things to feel in my life, yeah

-Sia “Reaper”

I just wanna be happy. But if I keep on doing the things That keep on bringing me pain. There’s no one else I can blame. If I’m not happy. Wasted time but now I can see. The biggest enemy it was me. So I’m not happy

-Kirk Franklin “Wanna Be Happy”

Your Grace makes ALL Saints out of Sinners! Now I’ve tried my ways but the way that I need is yours. I look to you when it’s all right. I’ll look to you when it’s all wrong. Please, remind me, when I get low. What you see when you look at me. What I know I can be

-Monica “Saints and Sinners”

 

 

 

I hope this post finds you in good spirits and great health. I enjoy sharing and I hope to do more in 2016. Peace and love…..

©CaesarMarques2016

I Just Feel…..

malefaerie

  • I feel so deeply that…watching the news sometimes gets me to thinking that it’s never safe, stay in the house, get Netflix, order in for food.
  • I feel so deeply that…when seeing my male buddies in pain I hesitate to offer comfort because of that time I tried to help a dude LONG ago he called me a faggot. Some things you never forget.
  • I feel so deeply that…I came out to someone in my life; a falsehood was told which lead me to believe that most people tell you what you want to hear instead of the truth. Sad thing is I’ve been guilty of this in the past.
  • I feel so deeply that…being around certain people bring up skeletons of the past and while forgiveness is in one hand the pain and anguish, tears are in another. Who said moving on was going to be easy?
  • I feel so deeply that…I’ve never allowed myself to have an intimate AND romantic relationship for fear of what it can take away and how it makes my eyes sting, heart hurts to see other happy couples sometimes. Work in progress.
  • I feel so deeply that…I hesitate to share my artistic gifts with the world for fear of ridicule. However I’m well aware that sharing is what the universe wants and the blocks are coming down.
  • I feel so deeply that…I’m going to share this post and feel a sense of relief because I deep down know that sharing stories like these can help someone. As I grow older, it’s getting easier and I’m realizing life will open up as much as I do.
©CaesarMarques 2016
Photo Courtesy of Bing/MysticMoonMedia.com

I hesitate to say but…

thinking-man

I hesitate to say that spending 9 years at one job kind of hurt my future job prospects or it just feels like it,

 I hesitate to say that being celibate and not dating for awhile took me out of the loop as far as being in a social romantic way,

 I hesitate to say that living under my parents roof taught me to be enabled beyond my wildest dreams and that If I lived on my own things could be worse,

 I hesitate to say that being fat has given me a level of security that is unmatched simply because of my size,

I hesitate to say that I make friends with some people based on the fact that I wouldn’t mind having a relationship with them and shouldn’t be disappointed when it turns out they are or never were interested,

 I hesitate to say wishing and hoping things will be better almost never works if there is no effort put behind it,

 I hesitate to say that being gay is something as a youngster I would change but now as an adult I wouldn’t change a thing,

 I hesitate to say that being alone but not lonely is a joy in my life if only because most of the time I enjoy my company,

I hesitate to say that buying things in my youth for the purpose of notice me syndrome is gone replaced by what the hell am I gonna do with this a year from now,

 I hesitate to say that infatuation and love is 2 different things and I found out the hard way,

I hesitate to say that losing weight will make more people like me, get me more sex with beautiful people, get acting jobs, and just generally make life better because skinny fit people look like they have it all together,

I hesitate to say that I prefer sleep because my dream life is much more interesting than real life,

I hesitate to say that writing this post makes me feel much better because getting out my feelings takes some of the heaviness off my shoulders,

I hesitate to say that I’m working on being the best man, friend, lover, homie, brother I can be.

2016 ©CaesarMarques

Photo Courtesy of Bing Images